What to do if your dating a narcissist
"Narcissists don’t focus on growth in a relationship, because their own self-assessment confirms to them that they are already significantly evolved and accomplished," Degges-White says.They will always prioritize looking like a picturesque couple over actually addressing your needs.Plenty can seem like woke feminists who'll drink in every word you say more than any other man ever has...until they do a 180° and call you a bitch in the middle of a small fight. Dating a narcissist If you're deeply confused as to how someone who used to text you nonstop and told you they loved you by date two suddenly seems rude and distant, that might be your first sign."Narcissists are masters of love bombing, where they make a potential partner feel as special as they possibly can," says Dr. D., chair and professor of counseling and counselor education at Northern Illinois University.And narcissists might be better at wooing you than someone who actually loves you, because they're motivated by winning you over instead of actually getting to know you.Instead of addressing the conflict, a narcissist will get angry that you're "embarrassing them" in front of people they'll never see again.What started out as you asking them to please text when they're running late turns into a huge fight at home because you "ruined the whole night" by bringing it up in public.But when no one who matters is looking (which, down the line, includes you), they'll very openly put their needs above yours."Narcissists see people as objects and often leave their romantic partners feeling more like an accessory than a living, breathing, feeling partner," Degges-White says.
You could have screenshots of what they said to you earlier and they'll still find a way to say that's not reality or what they meant.When bae first met you, they loved EVERYTHING about you.Now, those same things–the sound of your laugh, your penchant for wearing Doc Martens, your love of bad reality TV–are a problem."Narcissists tend to hold some specific image of what they want their partner to be like and they don’t 'challenge you' to grow, they try to force your 'growth,'" Degges-White says.Makes sense–being self-obsessed with your image is not exactly the foundation of a healthy relationship.But she also says that narcissists want to be perceived as the victim in all their relationships, embellishing their great qualities while vilifying their exes to achieve that image.