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It doesn’t appear to be something a woman can control.” Furthermore, according to Diamond, many women she’s interviewed claim they are attracted to the person, not necessarily the gender, and are drawn to characteristics like kindness, intelligence and humour for that emotional connection.Sometimes that can be a man or sometimes that can be a woman.So if you are a lonely wife trapped in a sexless marriage or are simply curious to experiment romantically with both sexes, or are committed to female partners only – know that the choice is yours to make - with less fear of the archaic label of adultery.Through the years, the concept of women who prefer the company of other women – sexually, emotionally, socially - has always been spoken of in hushed tones or been rationalized to meet societal standards defined by men.And while it doesn’t appear to be as condemned as male homosexuality, it was deemed to be prevalent in ‘less respectable’ circles in Paris and Amsterdam, particularly among dancers and prostitutes. In her article for O, The Oprah Magazine, writer Mary Fischer gives us a fascinating glimpse of why women are choosing other women over men as their partner of choice.By the 20th century, while not necessarily condoned, lesbianism and pansexuality of women became more tolerated, culminating in the political lesbianism of the 1960’s, the infamous New York Stonewall Riots in 1969 and the ushering in of lesbian feminism in the 1970’s. And how sexual orientation can vary for women depending on their circumstances, time of life, environment, or simply biology.Is it a logical and overdue result of fending off traditional male dominance?Has the “me-too” era moved beyond the workplace into its next phase within the home?
It wouldn’t be until the late 19th century that lesbianism (or bisexuality) would become more culturally visible in England and continental Europe. One only has to look to popular culture – with TV shows like ‘Ellen,’ ‘The L Word,’ and ‘Orange is the New Black’ and films like ‘Carol’ and ‘The Kids Are Alright’ - as well as songs such as Katy Perry’s ‘I Kissed A Girl’ - to see a growing embrace of alternative lifestyles.What is clear is that more women now choose to take another woman as a partner because as stated by Yale lecturer Binnie Klein in the same article, “a change in sexual orientation is imaginable to more people than ever before, and there’s more opportunity - and acceptance – to cross over the line.” As we mentioned earlier, the reasons why women seek out the company of other women can vary based on a wide variety of factors and situations.Perhaps you are frustrated or have had negative encounters with men? Or you are simply curious and find it appealing to see someone who is more in sync with what a woman needs?Perhaps your union is based on a mutually-agreed desire for an open marriage, which means you are both free to explore polyamorous relationships without any guilt of being labelled a cheating housewife?And maybe your husband can seek out his own dalliances with bisexual or bi-curious men in an open and loving manner?